Working Draft: RPDR Season 9 Ep. 12

Hello, hello, hello ladies and gays!

Top 4 Ladies and Gays!

This is the Top 4 we deserved: Shea, Sasha, Trinity and Peppermint. It may not be the top 4 I originally thought we’d have (Valentina and Eureka **ahem ahem**), but it’s our top 4. Overall, I’m pleased with the line up! These ladies have brought energy from the beginning.

Top of Show:

Ms. Michelle Visage arrives in the workroom following Alexis’ elimination. Can you follow in Ru’s footsteps, ladies? Literally, they have to follow his tempo by recording an original verse and learning choreography to Ru’s new song “Category Is.”
side: the big question on everyone’s mind is: “Who replaced Lucian?” Bye, girl, bye.
They’ll be coached an choreographed by All Star’s judge, Todrick Hall. The girls also guest star on the podcast “RuPaul: What’s the Tea? with Michelle Visage.” Oh, and they will perform the song live on the main stage prior to the final runway presentation.

In the Work Room

The girls always say funny things. Ah, the power of editing… They all decide that Peppermint has the most experience for a challenge like this one, and Trinity is the least comfortable singing and dancing, so she’ll probably struggle.
wait I’m confused: Trinity has been solid throughout this whole competition imho, and Peppermint needed some time to warm up. Or, are we not remembering it that way? I will say, however, that these girls are really pushing RuPaul’s Best Friend’s Race, because that’s about the shadiest thing said in the work room.

Recording and Choreo Session:

Damn. The girls are right. Trinity struggles to remember her… vocal schtick and stick to the choreography. Sasha also struggles, but really, Todrick? Those moves looked difficult.
fyi: my definition of diffficult being “anything I can’t do in my tiny living room while watching the show”… Anyway.
As for Sasha’s “rapping” she does openly say she’s going to perform “spoken word” over the rap. But, she’s just not entertaining.
Peppermint has a good memory for both her vocal performance and the choreography, improving their own confidence in the challenge while setting the bar even higher for the other queens.
Shea, in my mind, is in a league of her own for this challenge. She has probably the most difficult choreography featuring a triple pirouette. Todrick looked happy with her.

In the end, this live performance segment on the runway is one of the best editing jobs the crew has ever done. All the queens looked incredible, and were entertaining. It more than makes up for the cheer leading challenge earlier this season.

Runway Is: Eleganza Extravaganza

The final runway of the season, y’all! (scribble time)

Peppermint: Truly giving us Princess Anastasia/ Russian doll realness. Hair is the same wig she’s had, though…

Shea: A bit of a let down, honestly… I’m openly not a big fan of her’s (I was for her promo looks pre-show, but the second she came in screaming for her intro… nope- Boner Killer), but I typically appreciate the way she styles herself. Looks expensive! The dress just looked a little thrift store-y.

Sasha: Also, a wee bit predictable. It’s a Beyonce- inspired, high fashion swimsuit. But, she looks beautiful in it.

Trinity: The look of the night. Michelle says it’s the best she’s ever looked. She is giving 1940’s silent siren.

Who Should Stay?

Before this episode aired, I believed that Peppermint should go home. But, everyone did really well in this challenge. And, all in all, none of the looks were terrible, so I’m thinking that Peppermint is going to have to lip sync Trinity. Ru has other plans though, he has them all deliver encouraging speeches to their younger selves. One final group lip-sync later, and voila! The series’ third “shantay you all stay” and first-ever top four.

So, they’re all going to be in the finale. Who’s going to win? #TeamShea

Season 9 has thrown us a lot of curveballs. Like I said at the top, I don’t think if we had certain queens still in the mix over others at this point, Ru wouldn’t have kept all 4. I think this was the best way for Drag Race to consolidate its losses- If the best isn’t here, let’s give them more options to distract them from the mediocrity.

Next

Still #TeamShea!!

 

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Working draft

Pre-show Musings…

The Aftermath: One Week Later

VH1 aired episode 9 beforehand and I’m still flabbergasted. Valentina was supposed to win it all. She was supposed to overtake Shea, and prove all these bitches that being new to drag doesn’t mean being busted. She certainly is about as put together as the rest of the remaining queens, but she truly did fuck it up last week. Valentina’s lack of preparation for the lip sync speaks volumes- “I’m pretty, I’m staying.” Valentina: “I never imagined this was the way it was to going end.”

Even though it’s Valentina, and I am forever obsessed, I know Ru was the right decision sending her home. You know a few things coming into drag race as  a contestant- there’s gonna be snatch fame, you have to sew (or at least construct) outfits and you will have to lip sync. Also, the whole of episode 9 was pretty awful.

Who’s Left?

So… With Valentina out… Who does everybody think is in the Top 3? For me, there’s such a clear divide the between good and bad of this season that I’m almost over watching this season ’til the semi-finals. What other shenanigans are there to be had in one season?

imho: Shea, Trinity, and Sasha are the clear leaders at this point. They win the challenges, they bring energy, and they are stylish fish. On the other hand, from the girls left, Peppermint has really grown on me and grown as a performer during the competition. I don’t think she’ll end up Top 3 but if she did she’d replace Sasha. Nina and Alexis are lucky. Alexis because… well, I just don’t think she’s at the same level as the other girls and Nina because she literally isn’t worth the energy it takes to make her feel good.


Showtime!!

In The Workroom

OK, so it’s 7pm and this is really the start of the episode. I am at JR’s with my gays, and we’re all really wondering what the other queens are going to say about Valentina… Their interviews prior to Valentina’s elimination are rough. Of course they were. They were so jealous of that baby drag superstar. Surprisingly, they’re all just as shocked as we are. But, there’s no real time to dwell on Val’s departure because Nina literally sucks the empathetic energy out of the room. She feels horrible for sending Valentina home, and feels like she probably was the one who deserved to go.

imho: I mean, I get it… We all do… It’s her self doubt manifesting itself in these really self deprecating comments she likes to state as fact. But, this is also a com-pe-ti-tion. Even Alexis and Farrah had heaps more confidence. If you can’t love yourself… how in the hell are you gonna love anybody else, right? Oh. Also. It’s episode 10… There are only 5 other girls left. C’mon… Oh, and from the way it’s edited anyway… She is belligerent about vocalizing her paranoia “let me finish before you curse me out…” so it all seems just a little manipulative. Girl, tell me what happened in Atlanta? I want to know why you hurt so.

The other girls try to root for her until Peppermint abruptly ends the conversation and walks away. “I need to make you feel good because you did a great job?” It doesn’t make sense. Sasha chimes in: “This is not group therapy. We cannot fight for her.” And, Ms. Trinity, always concise: “She needs to go home… I’m over it.”

You’re on your own, Nina Bo’Nina Brown Kennedy Onassis.

Maxi Challenge #RuCrewMakeovers

Another episode senza Mini Challenge (sigh…) but, I love Ru’s grape vine suit that he wears to announce the Maxi. The girls are going to makeover the PA’s of the show! #RuCrewMakeovers

Because they won the previous challenge, Shea and Sasha pair up the queens and the PAs.

Peppermint + Sarge (stocky, very sassy)
Sarge: “I love document these life stories.” Hes open. Here’s sassy. Ru seems to love him.

Nina + Aaron
Nina wants to bring out both of their artistic sides. However, despite actual sewing skill and knowledge, she wants to create their outfits by… sewing them. (Trinity: This is not the time to learn to sew) Shea, despite their beef, decides to help as much as she can because she knows this is a little beyond Nina’s comfort level... Nina wants to do more prosthetics- White Rabbit themed looks. HMM. Aaron tells Nina she’s jeopardizing yourself. “have you always been this way growing up?” 

Trinity + Rizzo
She’s so nasty! “how do you feel about tucking?” Her number one is a FIERCE TUCK. WITH DUCT TAPE. They’re both really cute and acting silly. Ru remarks about how she’s proud that Trinity, despite being a pageant queen, was able to teach and engage a non-drag gay in drag. 

Alexis + Brady
Hes straight but has learned about that drag is more than just a dude in a dress. It’s cute, actually. There’s “Comedic drag… Runway drag… Fish!” which elicits the coveted giggles from Ru. But, he’s partnered with Alexis… We’ll see.

Shea + Josh
Shea chose Josh for the family resemblance. However, Josh cannot walk in heels. Like… Not at all. Trinity asks, “Have you ever seen a dog walk in snow?” Which… is not far from the truth. 

Sasha + Duncan
Handpicked for herself because she wants to bring out the playful side of this brave daddy. Ooh. But, Duncan does warn her not to over intellectualize things. But, Duncan also seems very happy to be paired with Sasha: “Duncan’s feeling the fantasy” as he examines his face with a Little Mermaid red wig. It’s adorable.

A Twist!

As a duet, a lip sync to Ru’s “Click Clack”  must be prepared.

legitimate question: do you think Ru added that little bit in after last episode? Like a warning: “Bitches, you better not any parts of your c.u.n.t. and you better remember the basics.”

Runway:
This is the BEST Mama Ru has looked all season. A one-of-a-kind hand painted gown by guest judge, Zaldy. What is this look? It’s really quite breathtaking. The Japanese on the gown is a collection of Drag Race sayings. Worthy of a spot at the Met Gala…

The judges this episode are Michelle Visage, Ross Matthews, Zaldy and America’s favorite, Kesha.

Challenge Execution + Judges’ Critiques (Scribbles) 
Trinity and her sister, Glittafa Dayz Ru is impressed that Trinity really took Glittafa under her wing, and taught her sister so well. They are adorable. And, showing a lot of ass in their swimsuits… illuminating their immaculate tucks. Glittafa: “The Pain is real.” They look like they’re having fun lip syncing to Click Clack. 

Shea and Bae Coulee: while Kesha says it’s “old Hollywood glam”, Michelle says it reads more “star sister and the other sister” yikes. Throughout the runway and the lipsync, it’s actually a bit a of a mess. Bae’s wig was all over the place on her face. But, Bae also says Shea did great. Gotta get support from your sisters if anything…
Oh, no… Shea underwhelmed.

Alexis + Ry Anne Stardust: MADE HER LOOK LIKE THE OLD SISTER. Ru “the nails scream I am a slut” which is about the nicest thing said about their performance… Zaldy “Halloween costume in a bag” and “unfresh“. Ross says “she should go” is anyone else thinking that Ry Anne’s hair and jumpsuit was all ready worn in a previous episode? #clockable

Nina +Ariana as Bunny Rabbits
Ru:”A family that drags together slays together”, but, all of them think there’s a huge disconnect within the whole look. It’s not particularly thought out, or very clean. Ross is hopeful that she’ll “bring it at a 10” while Michelle is no longer charmed- “I’m done with it” Kesha “the ears look like they’ve been rained on” I think it’s a little sloppy… And, you can’t do camp/prosthetic drag sloppily because it ruins the whole illusion.

Sasha + DONATELLA VELOUR.
They look like sisters because of those iconic eyebrows. Kesha: so high fashion. Zaldy loves it and Ross comments on how Sasha’s finally having fun in the competition and letting loose. She did look more relaxed. During the lip sync, she had fun! But, can she do a “sexy” lip sync haha? 

Peppermint +Winter Green. Feeling their fantasea even though I hate the outfits. Michelle “the outfits clash but I don’t care. You should thank Winter Green.”Ru says Winter Green is the MVP of the episode. She made Peppermint look better- Ross says: “Peppermint better be kissing feet.”

sidenote: Completely forgot about Valentina by now. You? The show did, surprisingly go on! And, it’s better than before. We fans have a lot of love to give, but we’re fickle as fuck.

The Top:

Trinity wins! I think it was close between Trinity and Peppermint. But, the judges like what Winter Green, or Sarge did with Peppermint’s drag and not how Peppermint transformed Sarge.

Sasha is safe.

Bottoms

At the bottom: Alexis, Nina, and Shea.

Lip Sync:

Nina looks annoyed. But, she has to lip sync… And, I booed the screen when they announced it was Shea against her. Alexis should thank her lucky stars for one more week. However, when Demi’s Cool of The Summer track begins, and they’re lip syncing. They’re both kind of boring. I’m thinking “oh.. is Ru going to say that neither has the passion or drive to continue?” But, of the two, I guess Nina looks like she is more over it. At least, Shea is throwing in a few tricks… Just not very exciting tricks for this song.

In the end, Nina gets her wish to be eliminated…

imho: Ru needs to make an announcement. Do NOT throw these lip syncs. Such expensive douchebaggery. Just save the performance fee and walk off the stage.
Next!!

Working Draft: Recap RuPaul’s Drag Race Ep. 8, #RuPaulsRoast

Hello hello hello, ladies and gays!

Last episode we lost Aja in a tragic but fierce lip sync against Nina Bo’Nina Brown Rodham Clinton. It was simply her time. But, now… it’s Farrah’s time. If it’s not this episode I just can’t watch anymore. Keep reading to see if that’s a spoiler.

“If you haven’t won a challenge… Why Are You Here?”

It’s a fair question posed by Peppermint. Back in the workroom, the girls keep score. Let’s see. Shea and Trinity are in the lead tied with the most wins- 2 each. On the other end of the spectrum, tied with 0 wins are Peppermint and Farrah.

Reading Is Fundamental

The Mini Challenge is the baby version of the roast (the queens don’t know that at this point, though). It happens every season- The Reading Challenge. Because reading is what? (beat) fundamental! Where the divide between shady and mean become blurred and everybody has to have a thick skin. But, not “thick skin” like the way all the queens keep reading Alexis for. I’m kidding, Alexis!

please note: Alexis Michelle is not fat, y’bitches. As the world’s first and only  @Petiteplussizedmalesupermodel, I actually commiserate with her self consciousness (which, yes, annoys me). And all of the other queens are so skinny. It must be hard to be the biggest girl by default.

(Scribbles)

Sasha: I’m always nervous because she prides herself in being so prim and proper… and not funny. But, her character really lends itself to her shade here. Good!

Peppermint: She must be good at public speaking during her shows. She has a really great rhythm to her reads. I don’t feel uncomfortable for her reads.

Valentina: Of course, Valentina gets the most airtime!! Ru shows the majority of her reads. She does make a fat joke about Alexis.

Nina: BMW Body Made Wrong toward Alexis.

Farrah: another fat joke. She’s the last, and she runs over to hug Alexis. But, Alexis is not accepting.

Alexis is really miffed about the fat jokes. She is visibly pissed.

Valentina wins the Reading Challenge. Yay!

MAXI CHALLENGE: THE RUPAUL ROAST

Ru announces the Maxi Challenge!! We all know from the preview that it is the #RuPaulRoast. But, the Guest or Honor is Michelle Visage! I love it. What a great way to honor Ru’s right hand woman.

Mini Challenge winner, Valentina gets to choose the order of the roast.

I volunteer as tribute

Alexis is salted from the mini challenge: “I just would have preferred to not deal with body image.” But, she still suggests she go first or last due to the high pressured nature of the position. This is where Alexis loses me. She so wants to be seen as first pick and leader of the pack when her track record just doesn’t hold up. And, I so want her to fill that position because of her Broadway love. But, I’m also thinking a roast is right up her alley…

In The Work Room

This is a tough challenge. How do you prepare for a roast? For one of your judges… At least with someone like Momma Visage you know she’d want the savage factor turned all the way up. Then, for some of the… less funny queens, how do you make it funny?

Nina: “Aja may have been lucky to get out of here…”

The mentoring session is with Ru and Ross Matthews. I was hoping there’d be a coaching session or at least a rehearsal on stage… but, I guess the budget didn’t allow.

Valentina says she can’t do it but we all know she can! The other queens are still not convinced of her perfection. Shea: “Guadalupe isnt going to write those jokes for you.”

about shea: No shade, no tea, no facts to back this up… But, I think Shea is going to win this season. Or, at least top 3. I’m on her side. She’s gorgeous. She’s funny. She can dance. And, the producers obviously love her because she’s about half of the sound bites per episode. But, I also low key hate her because she seems to really think Valentina is not at her level. You’re wrong for it, Shady Shea! You know you are!

Alexis admits to Ru that she’s “disappointed” because it seems all her sisters couldn’t come up with reading material not dealing with her weight. She has had self image issues which she’s revealed to the girls, so it’s a low blow…

Ru’s not really having it.

This isn’t RuPaul’s Best Friends Race!

Do you think Ru had seen all the raw footage at this point? Alexis says some cra-a-a-azy things about herself and her competitors virtually every episode. So, I’m sure it was very surprising to see that she couldn’t handle being read. I mean, I kind of think the sensitive subject of weight was the nicer topics they could’ve brought up. Off the top of my head I can think of 4 other clockable things about Alexis. One of them being her ego.

Ru poses the thought on everybody’s mind: “You think it’s ok to make fun of other people but, not make fun of you.”

R.I.P. I can’t believe Ru said that. But, I’m glad she did!

Ross tells Farrah to make it work. Basically telling her to make her “personality” work in the challenge. Ru: “You might come on the bottom.” #Phrasing

Peppermint: both Ru and Ross warn her that she’s missed the mark every acting challenge. She has to do well in this one.

Sasha: Serious and Analytical drag. I didn’t know that was a thing. I’ve kinda fallen out of love with Sasha but she’s growing on me. “Make sure you make us laugh.”

In The Workroom

I’m beginning to zone out during this part of the episode. These stories VH1 is force feeding us. They sometimes enhance the story. Typically, one of the queens will tell a story that relates to a hot topic issue within the LGBTQIA community. Sometimes, however, these stories are simply shoved into this part of the show because it’s… that part of the show. It’s a bit formulaic, VH1… And, tonight… on first viewing I was so annoyed that I knew they’d do this segment I didn’t watch.

I forced myself the second time. Sasha lived in Russia off and on for 2 years. So, she couldn’t do drag. Peppermint had to de-wig to prove her identity at a Russian airport holding center because her passport photo is her in boy drag, and she presents herself as a woman.

Runway

THERE’S NO RUNWAY THEME THIS EPISODE. Gross.

I like Ru’s wrapping paper dress, and her Dolly Parton wig is everything.T

Guest Judges are Tamar Baxton and Fortune Feimster

Michelle looks genuinely surprised and honored to be the Guest of Honor. I love her!

These are my scribbles.

Shea opens he show with ZINGERS. Good energy. Sets up vibe well.

SASHA IS GOOD. They show a lot of her segment. And her Ladies Who Lunch vibe is killing it with the audience. Also, that chapeau is everything.

Valentina goes there. Tells Ross she wants a hamster version of him shoved up her ass.

Trinity comes out in trailer trash drag and a large tooth gap. Ends with a poop joke.

Farrah actually makes the audience groan. So… We all know now, right? Farrah’s not good. Isn’t this… proof? She relies on pretty! She’s sighing after every joke.

PEPPERMINT MAKES TAMAR SCREAM. SHE IS GOOD. What “experience” are you lacking, again? She looks gorgeous, too.

NINA is doing great aunt drag. This bitch painted on glasses. Makes Tamar laugh.

Alexis closes the show. I couldn’t watch. I could barely listen. Not one joke lands. 😦 And she’s painted green. Is she Elphaba?

Tops and Bottoms

The safe queens are Shea, Valentina and Nina!!

Sasha: All the judges gush over her performance. And, it’s true. She made “serious” really entertaining.

Trinity is called out for not ever looking comfortable, which she attributes to the Botox.

Farrah: Michelle tries to be nice, but Ross: “I would call it fucked up.” Because she didn’t commit to any one direction or character.

Peppermint: They gush. Ross: “You brought the energy.” Tamar says she was amazing.

Alexis: Michelle is savage! “I literally forgot there’s was an audience here. They were so quiet.” I love it. It just didn’t work at all.

Deliberations 

Sasha: Tamar “she was smart about being smart.”

Trinity: Fortune “The Father, Son and Holy Ghost were not with Trinity.”

Farrah: The judges come to the concensus (finally) that “she doesn’t know who he is.” And I LOVE that Tamar agrees with “Not at all.”

Peppermint: Tamar “She was the highlight of my night.”

Alexis: Tamar hates her green paint! “Who in the hell left the gate open” HAHAHA and Ross shows he drew a of a bomb for his notes on her performance. Savage!

Winner

PEPPERMINT wins her first challenge!

THE LIP SYNC

Ru tells Farrah she made us Moan for all the wrong reasons.

Alexis will lip sync against her.

At the beginning, I think it’s obvious. But, as it goes along, I think Ru must’ve suddenly been thinking “Oh, God… This is close…” But, then Alexis did a running split slide and I think the competition was over.

Alexis stays. She looks shaken. Which means one of two things, she’s either reached the end of her rope or she’s going to be reborn like a Nina Bo’Nina Pheonixes Rise Out Of The Ashes Brown.

Bye, Farrah!!

Next.

RPDR Season 9 Episode 3 Recap: Dragily Ever After or #KnowYourStrengths

EP 3 RECAP!! —- OOH. Really quick. The first two episode recaps are on The Authentic Gay!! Please visit and give it some love. —– Hallelu, and hello hello hello, ladies and gays! The competition has now really started! One queen down. Last time, Jaymes Mansfield was eliminated in a lackluster lip sync battle to […]

EP 3 RECAP!!

—-

OOH. Really quick. The first two episode recaps are on The Authentic Gay!! Please visit and give it some love.

—–

Hallelu, and hello hello hello, ladies and gays!

The competition has now really started! One queen down. Last time, Jaymes Mansfield was eliminated in a lackluster lip sync battle to B-52’s “Love Shack” against Kimora Blac. It’s early on in the season, and it still seems too obvious who the tops and bottoms are.

However, it’s not obvious not to all of queens themselves… Continue reading “RPDR Season 9 Episode 3 Recap: Dragily Ever After or #KnowYourStrengths”